213 replies to this topic

[AYP]

You should feel the need to get the fuck out of the situation you're in and stop making stupid decisions.

[All Dead]

I think it's much easier to say that from the outside looking in.

I can't say I disagree, though.

[SertraOD]

Sammysaint, on 26 February 2012 - 01:40 PM, said:

Okay yeah, so nobody thinks it's fucked that her dad beats her or that her best friend is 8?
Kristy you are nearly 18 years old and it is not a surprise that people are going to find it odd that your best friend is 8 years old!
And this 8 year old also knows what blow jobs are and all the stuff you and Nick did? What is this? When I was 8 I played with fucking barbie.

It's America, you bitch-ass. White trash represent.

In all honesty Kristy would be fairly normal amongst many of the people I grew up around/knew in Houston. Except they're in it a lot deeper and aren't as sheltered.

Kristy, no one's advice here is going to help you. Everyone is either appalled by a level of depravity they obviously haven't been exposed to, or gives some inspirational speech based on their life even though they haven't had it half as hard as you have. It's all bullshit. Let's face it, punk is soft these days. They don't get you. Juggalos, in all honesty, are going to be a more welcoming family for you.

Shit, my friends are faggots who grew up in conservative texas church families, kids who praised satan in george bush's home town, ex and current meth heads... most of them I don't even talk to anymore. Most people here are yanks. They don't get it. We're 'bout it down here. Shit education, shit families, shit politics, shit religion, shit culture, drugs galore. From Arizona to Florida. We don't have isolated pockets of ghetto. It's everywhere. We're trash and I didn't even grow up poor.

I got arrested and released for playing russian roulette in a petsmart parking lot in Albuquerque, NM. Damn pigs took my dog right after she defecated in the passenger seat and impounded it right after without even cleaning up. Wound up on the street for two days before getting arrested again for less than an ounce of pot. Spent 45 days in jail because I didnt have anyone to bond me out. I've been living in wal-mart parking lots out of my van for I don't even know how long now. I blew through ten thousand dollars and chunked thirty grand worth of personal property in the trash because I knew there was a better way for me.

You ain't gotta change nothing, trust me. You don't have to be stronger or be this or that because you're already coping the best you can already. Ain't no one gonna be your friend cause people are shit, especially these days. It's getting hot in this country, especially in the desert/swampish regions of this country. No one is there for you. That's the sad fucking truth about this world.

But I'll tell you one thing, and I know it sounds cliche but it's fucking true. I know because the experiences I've had lately are impossible without God. Just pray and ask for help. A path will be provided, and faith will carry you through. And I don't mean religious faith, I mean real, living faith. Faith that if you believe in it, anything is possible no matter what anyone says or how impossible it seems. I mean anything. The only difference between you and motherfucking Aretha Franklin is that she had faith that she could be a great singer. Believe it.

You need God. And I don't mean wear your sunday clothes and go to church God, I mean the real God. The God that delivers if you believe. The God that shows you a path out.

And if he don't deliver quick enough, it's just a trial. Because if you believe, you will be delivered. Each and every time. That's all I can tell you. The rest you will learn through a personal relationship but just know he (or rather, it, gender-neutral and all) has been there the whole time you've just been blind to it. That voice inside your head is real. Don't second-guess it, it knows. Don't think it over, just trust that intuition. Just trust the spontaneous truth. If you stop fighting it, you will find you are no longer awkward. It's only your doubt that keeps you from the seemless flow of life that we all must submit to.

No one can tell you how to handle this but God and only you know what God tells you. Don't look to others as idols. Look within and you will find that you're capable of literally anything and this world is only a dream. You are your own hero. However you imagine yourself to be in your dreams is who you were meant to be. So pray to God and start being that person and never give up. Ignore everything else because it will sort itself out in time.

It's real and I'm not crazy. If I can believe anyone can.

[All Dead]

SertraOD, on 18 March 2012 - 01:39 AM, said:

Kristy, no one's advice here is going to help you. Everyone is either appalled by a level of depravity they obviously haven't been exposed to, or gives some inspirational speech based on their life even though they haven't had it half as hard as you have. It's all bullshit. Let's face it, punk is soft these days. They don't get you. Juggalos, in all honesty, are going to be a more welcoming family for you.

You're right, I haven't had it half as hard as she has. In fact, I'm well aware plenty of people have had it way worse than I have. Still, I can relate to those people. I can relate to Kristy. Sure, I didn't grow up in the midwest, I wasn't as sheltered, I wasn't home-schooled, and my parents aren't manipulative and/or abusive. But ultimately, I came to this forum for the same reason she did: to seek out a social life I didn't have, to seek out friends I didn't have, to be a part of something. I felt trapped inside my own head, and I wanted to escape that reality. Watching someone go through the same thing, but to a far greater extent, and for a far longer time, is just painful. Maybe my advice won't help, but that's not going to prevent me from trying.

[Aidyn]

Visit TPU for the first time in forever, click this thread first, read through all 11 pages...

[TheGrimReaper]

Okay, so I know I'm REALLY stupid for this and I know I'll probably regret VERY soon, but I was talking to Nick again. He says Angela was lying to me and he really does like me. So here's the hard part, finding out if I should believe him or her, because obviously one was lying to me.
Thinking about, I don't see why he'd be lying to me. Because, yeah, I could have seen him lying to me before to pull a sick prank on me, but now I don't see that as being logical, because he still is talking to me.
Even after Angela told me that. So why would he be talking to me if it was all just a joke? Why would he keep it up this long if he never actually liked me. Why would he have me around some of his friends and family if he doesn't actually like me? Cause I would think it was all just a joke he wouldn't want many people to know because he wouldn't people think he was with some ugly girl like me.
And he acts like he does like me.
And I don't see why he didn't give up after all this if he doesn't like me.
I mean, I put him through alot, constantly accusing him of lying cause I always had doubts, and only someone who really likes you will put up with stuff like that usually.
And there's been times in the past that different people said "Do you know Nick likes you?" So I think that's another sign he may really like me, because if someone likes you, they talk about you to people they know.
His little cousin was on the phone with him the other day when me and her and his younger bro were chilling out and she was asking him if he really likes me and he kept saying yes and she kept saying "He really likes you."
Why would he tell his little 10 year old cousin he likes me if he really doesn't? Cause there's no need to tell her that if it's a prank he's pulling on me.

But yeah, I know, you'll say I'm stupid for trying it again. I know I am. I always do fall for things, I'll admit it, but I just want to give him one more chance. And if it fails, well, that's it.

[Raphaela]

I've been through the same as you with my ex. He was around Nick's age (or maybe one year younger, I don't remember) and made me wonder all these things. I gave him as many chances as he wanted, and he stepped on me every single time. I could only break free when he vanished from my life for a year.
All I can say is be a little careful, don't get too involved or put your hopes up high. I was going to tell you to kick him in the balls, but I guess we've all been there and know how hard this may be.

[TheGrimReaper]

Raphaela, on 27 March 2012 - 07:42 PM, said:

I've been through the same as you with my ex. He was around Nick's age (or maybe one year younger, I don't remember) and made me wonder all these things. I gave him as many chances as he wanted, and he stepped on me every single time. I could only break free when he vanished from my life for a year.
All I can say is be a little careful, don't get too involved or put your hopes up high. I was going to tell you to kick him in the balls, but I guess we've all been there and know how hard this may be.

Thanks for not saying what I expected you to say. I expected you would say I was a complete idiot for doing this yet again. At somebody knows how I feel. :)
And trust, I won't let my hopes get up high, I still have some doubt in the back of my mind about him. But I do also have a little hope that he's telling the truth, and I guess that little hope and the fact that still have a huge crush on him is what keeps me going back to him and trying again.
But I swear this is the last time, and if it doesn't work, I'll just have to move on.
I may never find someone who actually likes me, but I guess that's better than thinking someone likes me when they don't.

[All Dead]

Kristy, you're over-analyzing this. Sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade and move the fuck on.

[Sammysaint]

I don't even believe for a second you actually like him, he is just the only option so you have convinced yourself to like him.
After what he did, why would you even be interested?
Be smart, don't fall into it again.

[TheGrimReaper]

No, I really do. I've had a crush on him for about a year now. I just wanna try one last time and see how things go. If it doesn't work out, well, I'll just have to get over it, and find another someday, if that's possible for me.

[All Dead]

Didn't he just up and stop talking to you for a month? And doesn't he supposedly have a girlfriend?

You let him take advantage of you the first time, so now he thinks he can do it again. Are you really gonna let yourself be a doormat?

[Skaz]

All Dead, on 28 March 2012 - 09:19 PM, said:

Didn't he just up and stop talking to you for a month? And doesn't he supposedly have a girlfriend?

You let him take advantage of you the first time, so now he thinks he can do it again. Are you really gonna let yourself be a doormat?

This.

Deep down, I think you know no good can come of this. Everyone finds themselves in this situation at some point, where you try fooling yourself into believing he could be different. Just be careful.

[pax]

Aidyn, on 20 March 2012 - 12:53 AM, said:

Visit TPU for the first time in forever, click this thread first, read through all 11 pages...

same here.

anti-war, i can't really give you any good advice. i haven't been here for a while, i don't know your life and mine has been completely different in most aspects. however, you should always remember that you're an awesome person - you are kind, polite and willing to help others. never forget your qualities. i had problems with my self-esteem for a long time. i tried to fit in with everyone else, be like every one else, get a boyfriend, etc. it needed some time until i realized that i did not really want to be like the others, that i had my own taste in music, clothes etc. i see that you don't have the money to buy new clothes etc. you don't have to, don't let us, or anyone else, tell you what or how you want to live. you are the only one who has to be satisfied with your life - you. if YOU want to change your style or anything, think about how you can do it (and there are ways, even with little or no money: changing/making clothes, cutting your hair yourself - i always do that since i don't really trust hairdressers ^^). if you do not want to change it, don't do it. it's your life and no one else's. the same is about having a relationship etc. you should be happy with the things you do, no one else. just do what you want to. and one tip i can give you about finding a boyfriend - just don't look for one.

so, anyway, how have you been doing? are you still being home-schooled and not really allowed to leave the house? your neighbourhood still dangerous? when are you graduating from high school? are you planning on going to college? just curious ;)