83 replies to this topic

[abolish misery]

just how i roll

[Black Cat]

My friend observed, that when I imitate the guy, I'm currently working for, I use the exact same imitation I use when I imitate my dad. Although they don't talk in the same way at all. Not sure yet, what to make of this, other than this guy is wasting his time with trying to give me advice on my life.

Edited by Black Cat, 24 May 2011 - 03:56 PM.

[Black Cat]

"You deserve someone better than me." is just the lamest cop out of all lame cop outs. If people cannot handle even the slightest bit of commitment to another person because of their low self esteem or emotional baggage or whatever they should have at least the decency to put the blame on themselves. Which in that case would mean to man up and stop being a fucking coward.

[Sammysaint]

Black Cat, on 14 June 2011 - 02:50 PM, said:

"You deserve someone better than me." is just the lamest cop out of all lame cop outs. If people cannot handle even the slightest bit of commitment to another person because of their low self esteem or emotional baggage or whatever they should have at least the decency to put the blame on themselves. Which in that case would mean to man up and stop being a fucking coward.

I dont quite understand this, surely "you deserve someone better than me" is saying that they're to blame?
I've said a similar thing before, because this person was really kind and really keen, and I wasn't as interested as he was, and didn't treat him the way he deserved.

[Black Cat]

Sammysaint, on 15 June 2011 - 01:06 PM, said:

I dont quite understand this, surely "you deserve someone better than me" is saying that they're to blame?
I've said a similar thing before, because this person was really kind and really keen, and I wasn't as interested as he was, and didn't treat him the way he deserved.

Yeah, of course it means, they are to blame. But what's the consequence if someone is to blame usually? They should take responsibility and try to be better, right? Not just sod off. That's why I said, it's an easy cop out. Sure, if the interest is simply not mutual that's another story. But even then, "someone better" is not really accurate, because it should be "someone, who is equally interested".

It's just that I tend to attract people, who put me on some kind of pedestal and later seem to find out, I'm too much to handle or whatever. It makes me feel like I need to make myself lesser than I am. As if I were to be blamed actually.

Meh. Whatever.

[JohnWayneWasANazi]

Black Cat, on 14 June 2011 - 02:50 PM, said:

Which in that case would mean to man up and stop being a fucking coward.

Am I the only one who fucking hates it when a woman (or a man, to a lesser extent) says that someone should "be a man" or "man up"? Every time I hear it I wanna go all Ben Weasel.

[Black Cat]

^^ When you quote me, you could at least talk to me as well and not just about me.

And I could probably talk myself out of it, but yeah, I should have just used some gender neutral expression.

[Gibby]

JohnWayneWasANazi, on 15 June 2011 - 04:33 PM, said:

Am I the only one who fucking hates it when a woman (or a man, to a lesser extent) says that someone should "be a man" or "man up"? Every time I hear it I wanna go all Ben Weasel.

I think it's just you so man up.

[SertraOD]

Black Cat, on 14 June 2011 - 02:50 PM, said:

"You deserve someone better than me." is just the lamest cop out of all lame cop outs. If people cannot handle even the slightest bit of commitment to another person because of their low self esteem or emotional baggage or whatever they should have at least the decency to put the blame on themselves. Which in that case would mean to man up and stop being a fucking coward.

Telling someone to man up isn't encouraging them to grow, it's trying to force them to do what you want. A very dishonest expression indeed.

[NickSutton]

SertraOD, on 05 February 2011 - 04:52 PM, said:

Eh, sound like harmless lies. There is a lot of intention behind this other guy's lies. He does it to try to bring you down or bring himself up in the most annoying ways. He never stops.

I used to have a friend like this. He lied so much they would contradict each other, he lied about the most pointless shit to try to make himself look cool.
I tend to notice people like this are the most selfcentered people and believe they're better than everyone else because they have made themselves out to be better than everyone else.

SertraOD, on 10 February 2011 - 07:45 PM, said:

Being sexually liberated is beyond allowing yourself to be a horndog, just so you know.

Real men and women aren't sex obsessed. Boys and girls are.

Unfortunately, boys remain boys longer these days because of all the toxic, estrogenic shit out there... and girls are growing up faster and using sex as some kind of validation, never having the chance to truly grow in to a balanced, mature sexual being.
  I
I love discussing sex, but most people I talk to can't talk about it without objectifying the whole act. It's ridiculous. There's so much more to it than that and not in that lovey dovey save yourself kind of way. Most people don't even bother with classic seduction, preferring to go for the fastest lay.

I make 'em melt. Oh yes, melt like butter.

And that's so much manlier than saying "I'D SLAM HER LOL".

I really think people are too concerned with sex, I see sex alot like I see smoking pot. They're both my plan B when there is nothing else better to do. Yes they're fun, but I think people put them on a pedestal. Also, unless the chick is exceptionally hot (I'm talking a 9 or 10 in the aspect that they're better looking than 90-100% of the population) I wouldn't even care if they asked to have sex. If they were attractive I would most likely say yes, but I wouldn't be stoked about it.

Also, I hate how Americanized the rating system has gotten. The media has ruined it. If someone asks you to rate them and you say anything below an 8, for an average person, they take it as a personal insult.
Songs like this and suburban American sensitivity among the ultra feminized media values have ruined perception and either make people think they're way better than they actually are, or make people think they're insignificant and self conscious.

[JohnWayneWasANazi]

Black Cat, on 15 June 2011 - 04:57 PM, said:

^^ When you quote me, you could at least talk to me as well and not just about me.

And I could probably talk myself out of it, but yeah, I should have just used some gender neutral expression.

Well I wasn't just talking about you.

[NickSutton]

I have this friend who always tries to tell me we are the same person an compare our traits but he basically just tries to pawn his traits off on me.
Like for some reason he always seems to revert to (We both are very opinionated and we both always have to be right, that's why we get along so well an why we clash so much)
When really I don't always have to be right, but I do keep trying to say what i'm saying because most people will cut me off before I make my point thinking they already know what i'm going to say. This is also one of the most bothersome things someone can do because they prejudge an idea that isn't my idea and then tell me I am wrong for that idea.

Also I hate when people ask me to help them to learn how to drum then completely disregard the advice I give them, I didn't just go up to them an tell them what to do, they asked for my help, but they just want instant results without having to work for them.

I have also notice that I justify things like internet communications (Such as having an maintaining a Facebook) as well as cell phone communications with complete strangers while i'm sober, but when i'm on acid or when I have acid like flashbacks (No visuals, but I think an act the same way) I notice most people are delusional to this as well. Facebook is nothing more than a picture of yourself, a brief self description, and a pool of statements and opinions. It is much like the chatrooms of the 90's that were impersonal enough, except for the fact it has evolved. Now instead of having to log on to participate this chat room is static, it is always running and always flourishing and taking up more and more internet real estate as the hours pass. Terabytes of new information being uploaded by the hour. And instead of having multiple rooms to avoid traffic overflow, they have made it into a super room, making it very convenient to watch over every little bit of new information being processed into the server, even updating you individually about details you may be pertaining to. It is truly the most impersonal and debilitating media outlet since cable television.

Also when i'm in said state I differ from my sober state in terms of any type of lifelong security. As of right now I am sober and realize I should get a job so I can move out of my family's house and start my independent life, but when i'm in trip phase I tend to think that living in the same house, working the same job, living the same life everyday is not only unfulfilling, it is downright imprisoning. I feel petrified to be doomed to that existence, just not experiencing anything new while waiting for my impending death. And consumerism on any level just seems to be pointless. Why should I pay to get food when I can hunt and gather it? Why should I pay for shelter when I can make it? Why should I try to further myself in a system that I only want to further myself in because I think I will die if I don't, not because I actually desire to?  

I no longer identify as an Anarchist because I no longer identify as a societist. I am more confused now than I ever was in trying to figure out exactly what I want to do in life, but I do know that I don't want this, any of it. If I could choose one way to live it would be in martial law, I really only want to fight until I die, although I don't want to do it alone.

Also when i'm drinking or when I feel somebody disrespects me (Mostly when people are in my house and take things without asking, or take advantage of my kindness by inviting themselves to my personal stuff without asking) a side of me comes out that I usually bottle up. I get very angry to the point of reprimanding the person and if they disagree fighting or just hurting the person without any regard for the friendship. I feel like I have lost control at these points as I am no longer rationally thinking and am just acting on impulse and saying and doing the first thing that comes to mind.

[Black Cat]

SertraOD, on 16 June 2011 - 05:25 AM, said:

Telling someone to man up isn't encouraging them to grow, it's trying to force them to do what you want. A very dishonest expression indeed.

Jesus fucking christ, this expression doesn't even exist in my own language. I was angry and sad and also not telling this person to man up, but talking about him on a place, where he cannot possibly see what I said anyway. And wishing that something happens that I want is not the same as trying to force someone to do what I want. It's about a change in heart and not in behaviour and you cannot force that anyway, even if I wanted to, which I don't. I hate being manipulative in general, even in situations, where it could actually benefit me.

This whole "you deserve someone better" thing is completely ignoring what I want, when I don't want anyone "better". It has this connotation of that I don't know what's good for me myself and he is now deciding for the both of us. This doesn't mean, I'm not accepting the decision, but I'm disappointed and upset nonetheless. Actually a lot of the anger comes from feeling helpless about it.

[Black Cat]

"I like being submissive/to be dominated" has become the new "Chocolate is my guilty pleasure" amongst young women. How boring.

[Punk Rock Geek]

Black Cat, on 14 June 2011 - 02:50 PM, said:

If people cannot handle even the slightest bit of commitment to another person because of their low self esteem or emotional baggage or whatever they should have at least the decency to put the blame on themselves.

I know this is old, but I just noticed it.  It kind of confuses me because you were arguing for free love in the other topic.

[Black Cat]

Punk Rock Geek, on 04 October 2011 - 03:26 PM, said:

I know this is old, but I just noticed it.  It kind of confuses me because you were arguing for free love in the other topic.

It confuses me, too. Emotions cannot always be put into black or white categories and sometimes we are just ambivalent, aren't we?  

Also, weren't you argueing against those, who accuse free lovers of not being able to commit to a person? Because they would be the ones, who leave a partner for a new partner sooner or later, whereas a free lover would be more able to continue an already existing relationship when encountering a new one. Correct me if I got that wrong. And being committed doesn't equal being exclusive, does it?

[Punk Rock Geek]

Black Cat, on 04 October 2011 - 03:50 PM, said:

It confuses me, too. Emotions cannot always be put into black or white categories and sometimes we are just ambivalent, aren't we?  

Also, weren't you argueing against those, who accuse free lovers of not being able to commit to a person? Because they would be the ones, who leave a partner for a new partner sooner or later, whereas a free lover would be more able to continue an already existing relationship when encountering a new one. Correct me if I got that wrong. And being committed doesn't equal being exclusive, does it?

For many people, being committed does equal being exclusive.  You are correct though, I don't consider them synonymous and was just curious about how you were using them here.  I would consider myself very committed to the people I care about, but I use the word to signify emotional commitment in general and avoid the association with romance entirely.  So, I would also say that people should be honest about their willingness/unwillingness to commit, but if they wish not to, that it's not necessarily a result of low self esteem or emotional baggage.

[Black Cat]

Punk Rock Geek, on 04 October 2011 - 04:07 PM, said:

For many people, being committed does equal being exclusive.  You are correct though, I don't consider them synonymous and was just curious about how you were using them here.  I would consider myself very committed to the people I care about, but I use the word to signify emotional commitment in general and avoid the association with romance entirely.  So, I would also say that people should be honest about their willingness/unwillingness to commit, but if they wish not to, that it's not necessarily a result of low self esteem or emotional baggage.

Not necessarily, yeah.

[Skaz]

This was an interesting thread, it's a shame got forgotten about.

Lately I've been pondering about friendship. I wonder how many of the relationships I consider to be friendships are actually worthy of the name. I have a 'friend' who I've known since we were 5 (over two decades ago) and he makes no effort to meet up with me or our other mutual friends. One of these friends is moving to Scotland soon and had a leaving do in a pub and this guy couldn't be bothered to call in for a drink even though he was passing the pub. I understand that friends drift apart but I know that in the future he'll want to be friends again.

Yesterday, I posted this question about the law on facebook and tagged my friend who is a policeman:



We've debated about the law and stuff in the past but his response genuinely shocked me. Surely a friend wouldn't respond like that? Even ignoring the hostility of that reply, at what point does difference of opinion kill a friendship? http://en.wikipedia....wiki/Friendship According to this, I have very few friends (or at least very few valuable friendships).

[Floyd]

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